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my bipolar nightmare

07/26/2013

i wake up tired
i toss from side to side
drifting in an out
sleep escapes me

i force myself out of bed
to care for the children
sometimes i can’t
they must make do

i rarely change my clothes
i hardly bathe this body
the house i can’t clean
i am not able to function

making supper is what i do
i must feed them
i don’t wash the dishes
i must lay down again

when the night comes
i lay down to sleep
there is no rest for me
never ending film rewinds

i am helpless to stop it
there is no fast forward
over and over it plays
the only cure is a drug

the doctor says, bipolar
racing thoughts, the fears
the anxiety, all the tears
maybe this will help, lithium

with the lithium, comes the sun
i can get up in the morning
most days feel livable again
it’s easier to clean myself, my home

there is still the sadness
but it generally slips away
there is still little sleep
but it’s better some days

then there are my children
i can actually laugh and play
then there is me
and it is okay to be

the bipolar can still overwhelm
i hang onto my children
and my beliefs too
i have overcome a lot, i will this too

so if one day i ask you
to hug me close and tightly
remember ‘tis a gift you give
that will help me another day to live

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