Today I Try
After many years of hardship, at 17 I found salvation. Not belief for I always believed, but forgiveness. I began a journey of reaching for His guidance and oneness with Him. I spent my time praying, reading the Bible, and raising my children. I worked in the church and helped in the community. Then there came an illness and the act of serving became next to impossible, but still I believed. In that time I stopped. I moved away from service. I struggled to conquer the illness, which was separating me from service and ultimately leading me to protect myself. I coped by locking my ability to feel up inside. A tear would leak and I would shut it off violently at times. The fear of letting go, kept me trapped in loneliness. Then the world around me changed. I changed. Some control came for the illness. I began to open up and I began to cry. I have been crying for months. I have been sharing my heart for forever, but now I am sharing it from another point of view. Instead of fighting those around me, I fight the darkness within me. I have grown and it has been hard, people around me have hurt to help me. Growing pains happen and we must accept them as a part of life. Today I cry, the Son is shining, I grow, I share, and I lean on His guidance. Today I give back where I can. Today I try.