From Jody Bailey-Hines: Tough Love
Ever wonder why you have to wait for a loved one to hit rock bottom before they can be helped? Why can’t our reaching out to that person be enough for them to stop whatever they’re doing and straighten up? Many rehabilitation facilities that stage interventions, require that family and friends tell their loved one that they will cut off contact, meaning no more help or assistance of any kind unless they stop their behavior. Most people see this as just down right cruel and unloving and not what God would want because He is all about love.
Those who think this way are wrong. In the Bible, it specifically states that God will turn His back on you and your wicked ways until you’ve changed and come back to Him.
Let’s look at this verse: Romans 1:28
28 And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient;
God knows what it will take to bring you back. Sometimes the only path back to Him is to be left to your own accord. The term reprobate in the Merriam-Webster dictionary defines this word:
: a person who behaves in a morally wrong way
Looking further in to this Bible passage, verses 29 – 32, it explains exactly what God was talking about when he said a reprobate mind:
29 Being filled with all unrighteousness, fornication, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, debate, deceit, malignity; whisperers,
30 Backbiters, haters of God, despiteful, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents,
31 Without understanding, covenant breakers, without natural affection, implacable, unmerciful:
32 Who knowing the judgment of God, that they which commit such things are worthy of death, not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them.
It’s stating that God will leave you standing in the middle of the road without His protection, because He will not tolerate this behavior. As humans, we feel the need to save those who need help. You need to ask yourself, if God has turned His back on this person, what makes us think we can be the ones to save them?
We can’t! It’s very plain and simple. That person will have to hit rock bottom before God and ONLY God can bring them back. If God left you standing in the middle of the road, obviously you’ll have to be hit by numerous destructive cars before you go running back to Him. Who are we to think that we can be the ones that save that person? We’re not God.
It’s hard to stop helping someone we truly love. In no way possible am I suggesting the first sign of trouble with a person, to stop helping them, but if you’ve helped them repeatedly and there is no progress, it’s time to let go and leave them to God.
Pray that person will find their way back. You are only hindering any type of progress God is trying to make with this person by assuming the role of God, instead of allowing God to do the work.
Of course, you will be subjected to all types of mental cruelty from the person no longer receiving assistance. You will hear things such as, “everyone has abandoned me”, “you don’t love me”, and the list can go on and on. Stay strong and pray. Love that person but hate the things they do. Those that continuously fuel their wayward ways are only empowering them to continue on their destructive path. The holidays can be the worst time for this type of power play to happen. Christmas will not change a person. Nothing will, except their willingness to change.
Pray without ceasing.
from Crystal: I would personally like to follow this up with 1 John 1:9
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
It takes work, very hard work to undo the things we do, and it will be hard. We are never alone if we count on Him.